When I was just 7-years-old, my parents got divorced because they argue a lot. Whether it is about small things that don’t matter, both of them make a fuss out of it. It is as if they can’t live without shouting and yelling at each other. I remember the first few quarrels they have; they were a bit traumatizing because I didn’t know what to do. I just buried myself into the pillows and anxiously wait for the commotion to stop. But after a couple of arguments for about a month, I finally managed to find a way to distance myself from them. That is where I find solace in playing computer games.
I can no longer recall how many times my parents ended up smashing things in the house. I can’t even remember who started the fight as well. All I can remember is the escape plans I often made just to stay away from their sight when they fight with each other. My computer games became that escape from reality. I quickly discovered that I was entirely good at not minding anyone’s business and focus on my comfort zone. And that is the start of my unwanted computer addiction.
From Childhood To Adulthood Issue
Honestly, my computer gaming habit was supposed to be temporary. It was only intended to temporarily mark the things I don’t want to waste my energy and time with, such as my parents’ unscheduled fights. But as I grew up, things changed. My computer gaming habits became the first thing I wanted to do in the morning and the last I do at night. Well, it doesn’t entirely matter for a high school student because the only responsibility I had at that time was my school and my computer games.
Then I went to college. I should say things were a little bit the same. After a couple of classes, I always head back to my dorm and play computer games on my remaining hours before finally going to bed. It was a cycle. But then I met my girlfriend. For quite some time that I was in a romantic relationship, I spent my time accordingly. I graduated from college. 2 months after, I moved in with my then-girlfriend, now wife. Unfortunately, things changed not long after that. After so many years that I wasn’t spending time with my computer, I started going back on gaming habits once again. At first, it was only for a couple of hours a week. Then it became 2 to 3 hours a day. Now, I can’t seem to stop.
My wife delivered our baby boy just four months ago. It was a fantastic moment for the both of us. We became parents, and everything was quite okay. However, despite my effort to put everything in my hands, I could not set my priorities due to my computer gaming addiction. I failed to give my family the life they deserve because I was too focused on playing online and offline.
The Unhappy Ending
My other half constantly nagged about how I should spend my time productively. My wife was very considerable in my situation. She said that if ever I can’t find a job, I should look out for the baby. Well, that was very nice of her, considering that I should be the one who is supposed to financially take care of everything in the family. But then again, I was too focused on entertaining myself with my computer games. That is where that particular mistake happened and made me lose the precious things I have.
I was so overwhelmed that I get to stay at home and do nothing but play games while taking care of our baby. Unfortunately, I was not expecting an accident. My mind was preoccupied with playing, so I never checked on my baby in the other room for at least 7 to 8 hours. And when I finally did, it was too late. My boy wasn’t breathing. He flipped over in the crib, and he couldn’t get back in an upright position. He suffocated.
That incident made me lose everything. My son died because I was irresponsible. My wife left me. My parents told me that they do not want anything to do with me. My friends won’t talk to me. I am all alone. I want to blame the computer for that unfortunate situation. But who am I kidding? It was me who did that to my son. It was me who did that to myself. I was addicted to computer games, and I did not bother to seek any help. I was mentally incapable of handling things around me, and I ignored that. I was hopeless.
For those of you out there, who prioritize computer games more than anything, please consider getting a life. Because like any others, I was also one of the many who believe that this kind of incident never happens in real life until it happened to me.